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stole from lj user divalea via lolcomicat thread on slgnews, cos it’s true :)

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my dog just died.

she was half dead for months, she lasted longer than she looked like she would, if it was any choice, I would suggest we put her to sleep, but my mother don’t understand such a thing, and I HATE the neighbour vet, I don’t want to take her back there. she’s probably the reason my dog is in tremendous prolong pain before she passedaway.

it started out of no where, one day, a few months ago, my dog just collapsed, no warning, no anything, she can’t walk, can’t eat, barely breathing, and have no voice beside a low wheezing, we took her to this neighbour vet right away, she was kept there for a night and then was released, without clear explaination what happened and no further threatment.

but wait, it could get worse, after she got back from the vet, we suddenly notice that she had flea, a LOT of flea, she never had any before, and now these were making her weaker and while we tried to get rid of these, it just made whatever condition she had worse, it just sucked. she looked like walking skeleton.

She did get better tho, not healed by any sense of word, but she can eat again, she can walked again, and she have this low wheezing bark, like human with throat cancer, but at least it looked like she was getting better, she was like this for a while, and I thought maybe, just maybe, she might keep getting better.

Today, I don’t know why, I felt compelled to do it, I had to go out to check route to airport and then, I went alone to buy her new pad, a very soft and pink pad, and frontline, from my friend’s recommendation.

I got home, showed her new pad, put her there and she laid there for a while, then I told mom about frontline and stuff, everyone joked that my dog would die from shock because I bought her new bed, everyone laughed. I went back to work, I found package from fehed that he sent out on wednesday last week, it arrived sooner than I thought, and it even came in proper mail box, not usual recycle box that he usually sent. maybe cos he couldn’t find the right size box around. I went through stuff in the box, then my mom came up, saying that, my dog just died, she got up and walked to her old home, laid down and just went.

we talked about bury her, I wraped her in my towel and put her in a box that fehed just sent, it was exactly the size of her, I tugged her as best as I could and my relative took her away to bury , there’s no land near my house.

I think I owe her, my dog, it was my fault she was with us, my house is not big enough for any dog, she shouldn’t have been here, but I insisted, and then, there’s no quality vet around to turn to, I can’t drive, my dad had to be the one taking her around when she needed to see this darn vet and then I felt like I didn’t fight hard enough with my mom to keep her in house and not outside, if I did, maybe she will have better life, maybe wouldn’t die in that horrible prolonging way. or maybe if I didn’t fight with my mom at all about keeping her, non of this would happen. maybe I should have done alot of different thing, I don’t know, when she first collapse, I was scared in the prospect of having a sick dog and no where to turn to, and nothing to do but wait to see if she will get better or not, and then, thinking and accepting that she will die, then thought she might be able to get better and then found out it wasn’t so.

well, it’s done now, I don’t think I will get another dog, not while I am here, in this house, in this town, in this country, maybe someday, when I’m at better place, I would.

I’m sorry if this post doesn’t make much sense grammatically, or sound a bit unintelligent, I haven’t slept for a good long 30+ hours.

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This is WIP page from The Forgotten Incident of San Sabian.

sometimes, I think I’m a masochist. it would be a miracle if I can meet deadline this time, considered amount of details in background. but I can’t do it other way XD

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new issue of imagineFX just arrived but I couldn’t do more than flip through it, I miss doodling some cg, but once I start I would spend a good chunk of day at it, and I simply cannot afford that right now ;_;

I hope I can meet deadline with enough time to spare, I need to pack too,

I lost my mind.

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working ;_;

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let’s see, I need 175 scales, 28 monstrous fang, 21 jadeite, and 7 plat 500 gold for new luxon armor (60)

Then I need 350 Hide, 350 Bone and 60 plat (!!!) for ascened bonelace for later

also, I need to meet deadline in about 20 days.. or no comic con for me T^T

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friend of a friend maade this, dirty and psychotic bunny XD

oh and, me trying new toy, photo drop and photobucket (not new per se, but I’m just rediscovering it :D)

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